♫Telephone is Ringing… ♫ (Actually, it’s not.) - March 19, 2018
Remember the old Alice Cooper song? “Telephone is ringing…?” Well, it’s not. Sigh…
Laurence and I have a complicated history with phones. Sometimes because we can’t get one and at other times because…we can’t get one.
Phone Story #1 – No Phone at the Inn
Picture this. Laur and I have just moved to Dundas in the summer of ’79 - back from a year of volunteering. We have no car, we have $500 in the bank, we are living in a basement apartment, I am great with child – due September, and we have no phone. Is it because we are hyper minimalists? Well, we were that – being broke will do that to you. But no, it was because Bell Telephone – the only provider of phone service in those days – was on strike.
Crazy times. Laur was either working for Barnes security (July / August) or going back to school (September.) How in the world was I supposed to reach him if I went into labour?
We didn’t worry about this much – though maybe we should have. We were more concerned about how we were going to get me to the hospital when I went into labour. Not only was there the “challenge” of not having a car or a phone. There were only two cab companies in Dundas – one would take women in labour, the other would not.
Labour started around midnight of September 24. Laur ran over to the closest shopping mall with a pocketful of dimes and called the Obstetrics Ward. “Should we come in now?” The nurse asked, “Is this your first baby?” “Yes!” “Is your wife able to talk and move around?” “Heck yeah,” said Laurence. “She’s thinking we could walk over.” (It was only a mere 2 km away.) The nurse laughed. “She really needs to get some rest. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s time to go to the hospital.”
6 am hits and so does the first “real” contraction. One of us knows she ain’t walkin’ anywhere, and one of us goes into panic mode. (Ahem!) Laur ran to the phone booth and phoned the first cab company he could find. And thankfully – 50/50 chance – it was the company that took women in labour. Long about midafternoon, Anna was born.
How did we inform our family? With the hospital phone in the labour-delivery room. Now that was a phone bill to remember! How did we get home? I have no idea. I think Laur’s Dad and (Step)Mom may have given us a ride though I likely wanted to walk. Being cooped up in a four-bed ward for a few days will do that to you. Or at least it did to me!
We got our phone a few weeks later. Initially, I thought “Why bother? The worst part of this baby thing is over. What could possibly go wrong now?” How little we knew…
Phone Story #2 – Our cell phone goes swimming in AZ.
Fast forward to March 2018. We’re hiking up in the Catalina Mountains and one of us is taking a picture while hop-scotching boulders across a stream. He feels one of his hiking poles starting to slip and he has to make a snap decision. Which is more important – the $15 hiking pole or the $200 cell phone? If you love hiking as much as Laur does, it’s completely obvious – grab the pole. He does, and our cell phone goes for a swim.
Now I know, what are the chances of dropping a cell phone in a desert and having it land in a stream? In this case, 100%. Laur and I immediately did all the things to “Celly” that you aren’t supposed to do – including turning it and off again to see if it still worked – thereby frying the circuitry. Our cell phone eventually made a little whiny buzz and gave up the ghost.
We have technically savvy friends and they suggested that we take out our sim card to make sure it was dry,and put the phone in some uncooked rice for 24 hours. Our sim card was dry – but our phone? Well, I hope it enjoyed its last supper.
So why don’t we just go out and buy another phone and stick our sim card into it? Easy peasy, right? As it turns out, not so much. Our phone company – FM - is strictly Canadian. We are in the USA. The person trying to give us options is in a phone centre in the Philippines.
Our new friend suggested we just buy an unlocked phone at a local store, try our sim card in their sample phone, and “Bob's mo Tito!” (Bob’s my uncle!) We went to WM. They don’t sell unlocked phones. We went to T-M (America’s Best Unlimited Network – according to them.) Not only do they not sell unlocked phones, they advised us that unless our phone worked within particular frequencies, it wouldn’t work anyways.
Back to our friends in the Philippines. Our new helper gave us the numbers for the megahertz bandwidth. I found a phone at BB that was the same phone that FM sells in Canada. And according to their website, this store had it in stock. (When I had called earlier I was given a different story. Ah well.)
Laur and I arrived, dead phone and sim card in hand. The lads were very nice. Yes, they had this phone in stock, but an American version might not have the same megahertz bandwidth. We asked if we could buy it and try our sim card in it to see if it would work. All three lads shuddered in horror! The lead lad explained, “If you buy this phone and the sim card you put into it fries the circuit board, you won’t be able to return this phone…” GAH!
Sigh! Back to our friends in the Philippines. “You could buy a FM sim card on Amazon and put it in a phone that you buy in the states that has the correct megahertz band.” All right then. Except the American Amazon doesn’t sell a FM sim card. The Canadian Amazon does, but they won’t ship to the States.
By this point the circuit boards in our brains were completely fried. I said to Laur, “Maybe we really don’t need a phone. We’ll be back in Canada in six weeks…” I mean, we’ll only be hiking in the mountains and taking drives along abandoned desert roads. What could possibly go wrong?”
How little we still know…
Laurence and I have a complicated history with phones. Sometimes because we can’t get one and at other times because…we can’t get one.
Phone Story #1 – No Phone at the Inn
Picture this. Laur and I have just moved to Dundas in the summer of ’79 - back from a year of volunteering. We have no car, we have $500 in the bank, we are living in a basement apartment, I am great with child – due September, and we have no phone. Is it because we are hyper minimalists? Well, we were that – being broke will do that to you. But no, it was because Bell Telephone – the only provider of phone service in those days – was on strike.
Crazy times. Laur was either working for Barnes security (July / August) or going back to school (September.) How in the world was I supposed to reach him if I went into labour?
We didn’t worry about this much – though maybe we should have. We were more concerned about how we were going to get me to the hospital when I went into labour. Not only was there the “challenge” of not having a car or a phone. There were only two cab companies in Dundas – one would take women in labour, the other would not.
Labour started around midnight of September 24. Laur ran over to the closest shopping mall with a pocketful of dimes and called the Obstetrics Ward. “Should we come in now?” The nurse asked, “Is this your first baby?” “Yes!” “Is your wife able to talk and move around?” “Heck yeah,” said Laurence. “She’s thinking we could walk over.” (It was only a mere 2 km away.) The nurse laughed. “She really needs to get some rest. Trust me, you’ll know when it’s time to go to the hospital.”
6 am hits and so does the first “real” contraction. One of us knows she ain’t walkin’ anywhere, and one of us goes into panic mode. (Ahem!) Laur ran to the phone booth and phoned the first cab company he could find. And thankfully – 50/50 chance – it was the company that took women in labour. Long about midafternoon, Anna was born.
How did we inform our family? With the hospital phone in the labour-delivery room. Now that was a phone bill to remember! How did we get home? I have no idea. I think Laur’s Dad and (Step)Mom may have given us a ride though I likely wanted to walk. Being cooped up in a four-bed ward for a few days will do that to you. Or at least it did to me!
We got our phone a few weeks later. Initially, I thought “Why bother? The worst part of this baby thing is over. What could possibly go wrong now?” How little we knew…
Phone Story #2 – Our cell phone goes swimming in AZ.
Fast forward to March 2018. We’re hiking up in the Catalina Mountains and one of us is taking a picture while hop-scotching boulders across a stream. He feels one of his hiking poles starting to slip and he has to make a snap decision. Which is more important – the $15 hiking pole or the $200 cell phone? If you love hiking as much as Laur does, it’s completely obvious – grab the pole. He does, and our cell phone goes for a swim.
Now I know, what are the chances of dropping a cell phone in a desert and having it land in a stream? In this case, 100%. Laur and I immediately did all the things to “Celly” that you aren’t supposed to do – including turning it and off again to see if it still worked – thereby frying the circuitry. Our cell phone eventually made a little whiny buzz and gave up the ghost.
We have technically savvy friends and they suggested that we take out our sim card to make sure it was dry,and put the phone in some uncooked rice for 24 hours. Our sim card was dry – but our phone? Well, I hope it enjoyed its last supper.
So why don’t we just go out and buy another phone and stick our sim card into it? Easy peasy, right? As it turns out, not so much. Our phone company – FM - is strictly Canadian. We are in the USA. The person trying to give us options is in a phone centre in the Philippines.
Our new friend suggested we just buy an unlocked phone at a local store, try our sim card in their sample phone, and “Bob's mo Tito!” (Bob’s my uncle!) We went to WM. They don’t sell unlocked phones. We went to T-M (America’s Best Unlimited Network – according to them.) Not only do they not sell unlocked phones, they advised us that unless our phone worked within particular frequencies, it wouldn’t work anyways.
Back to our friends in the Philippines. Our new helper gave us the numbers for the megahertz bandwidth. I found a phone at BB that was the same phone that FM sells in Canada. And according to their website, this store had it in stock. (When I had called earlier I was given a different story. Ah well.)
Laur and I arrived, dead phone and sim card in hand. The lads were very nice. Yes, they had this phone in stock, but an American version might not have the same megahertz bandwidth. We asked if we could buy it and try our sim card in it to see if it would work. All three lads shuddered in horror! The lead lad explained, “If you buy this phone and the sim card you put into it fries the circuit board, you won’t be able to return this phone…” GAH!
Sigh! Back to our friends in the Philippines. “You could buy a FM sim card on Amazon and put it in a phone that you buy in the states that has the correct megahertz band.” All right then. Except the American Amazon doesn’t sell a FM sim card. The Canadian Amazon does, but they won’t ship to the States.
By this point the circuit boards in our brains were completely fried. I said to Laur, “Maybe we really don’t need a phone. We’ll be back in Canada in six weeks…” I mean, we’ll only be hiking in the mountains and taking drives along abandoned desert roads. What could possibly go wrong?”
How little we still know…