More Jasperisms… - September 19, 2020
As we are settling into a September routine, we try to steal Jasper on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Emma is at school fulltime now and the principal might have something to say about us nabbing Ems for a few afternoons a week.
Breakfast Talk
Most every time Jasper gets into the van, he askes, “What d’ya have Grumpa?” This means “What did you have for breakfast?” Why does he ask? Well, this came about recently when sitting in the van beside Emma. He tried to make friends with Ems in the way he does with his friend Jude – by shrieking and blowing and bouncing up and down. This is also how he tries to make friends with our ratlets too. More on that later.
I told Jasper that Emma is older and if he wants to make friends with Em, he could ask a question, like “What did you have for breakfast?” So “What d’ya have” is now code for “I want to be friends.” But he also wants to know. And he repeats each word. He especially loves saying “Chia seeds.” And at the end of the menu list he says something like “That sounds good Grumpa.”
Then I ask him what he had for breakfast. “Cheerios and milk.” And then he askes me what I had – same routine. “That sounds good Granny.”
Stoplights
Jasper truly is a back seat driver. When he sees a stop sign he’ll tell Grumpa to “Stop!” And when Grumpa does – “Good stopping Grumpa.” Then he tells Grumpa to either turn left, go straight, or turn right. Grumpa explains that he needs to go a certain direction. And Jasper – much like a Garmin – recalculates and says, “Go right Grumpa.”
Stoplights are the best because when it goes from red to green Jasper yells, “GO GO GRUMPA!” If you remember the show Inspector Gadget who always said, “Go go gadget!” Well, that’s how it sounds.
And you need to know, to experience the full effect of this, that Jasper has only one volume – LOUD!!!
We play “Yellow Car.” The idea is that there aren’t many yellow cars on the road so it’s a good way to keep a kid quiet in the car. But Jasper has a fluid understanding of what yellow is. And what a car is.
“Yellow school bus!” “Yellow truck!” “Yellow digger!” “Yellow fire hydrant!” And then the whole yellow thing kind of derails. “Cement mixer!” “Bump sign!” Etc.
And when we arrive at our destination he’ll yell “GOOD DRIVING GRUMPA!” We have an appointment with an audiologist in October. 😊
Ratlets
Jasper loves our “ratties” or “mousies” as he calls them. He knows all their names – Doughnut (Daisy), Dandy, Lily, and Violet. Sadly, for Jasper, he tries to make friends with them the same way he does with his friend Jude. By shrieking, blowing on them, and jumping up and down.
And the ratlets want to be his friend – for less than altruistic reasons. Sometimes Jasper has French fries and Jasper loves offering them one between the bars. We have to supervise this. Jazz knows not to stick his salty greasy fingers in - the ratlets will think this is food. But while Doughnut might be last to the gym, she’s first in line for the food. And, well, while we are size positive here, we also want to be fair to the other ratlets.
He likes to watch the ratets in their ‘play’ cage while he has his lunch. We move his special chair close to the cage.
Sadly, and probably because of the refined carbs in the fries and bun, Jasper eventually cannot contain his excitement anymore, and we have to move the ratlets into the bedroom. Jazz is always heartbroken, but can be distracted by racing his ratlet toys and by reading Pigeon books by Moe Willem. He especially loves Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog. (Note to Jan: Buy the series. You love them as much as Jasper.)
Bigger
Jasper is almost desperate to get “so big.” He reminds us every time we see him about how big he is getting. His Mom told me that the other day when he was having his bath he started drinking the bathtub water. When his Mom discouraged him from doing this, his response was “I need to get bigger!” I’m not sure if this was the argument for drinking bathwater or if he was saying “When I’m bigger, I’ll do what I want!”
Laur was giving Jazz a ride home the other day and Laur started whistling. Jasper said, “What doing, Grumpa?” Laur responded that he was whistling and Jasper indicated he wanted to be able to whistle. Laur explained that it took him a long time to learn how to whistle and how that he was much bigger than Jasper when he finally learned.
Jasper said, “Whistle again Grumpa.” So Laur did and Jasper joined him – humming with his mouth in an “O” shape. When he got home he proudly announced to his Mom that he could now whistle and showed her how.
I expect he will now demand to be able to drink his bathwater.
Breakfast Talk
Most every time Jasper gets into the van, he askes, “What d’ya have Grumpa?” This means “What did you have for breakfast?” Why does he ask? Well, this came about recently when sitting in the van beside Emma. He tried to make friends with Ems in the way he does with his friend Jude – by shrieking and blowing and bouncing up and down. This is also how he tries to make friends with our ratlets too. More on that later.
I told Jasper that Emma is older and if he wants to make friends with Em, he could ask a question, like “What did you have for breakfast?” So “What d’ya have” is now code for “I want to be friends.” But he also wants to know. And he repeats each word. He especially loves saying “Chia seeds.” And at the end of the menu list he says something like “That sounds good Grumpa.”
Then I ask him what he had for breakfast. “Cheerios and milk.” And then he askes me what I had – same routine. “That sounds good Granny.”
Stoplights
Jasper truly is a back seat driver. When he sees a stop sign he’ll tell Grumpa to “Stop!” And when Grumpa does – “Good stopping Grumpa.” Then he tells Grumpa to either turn left, go straight, or turn right. Grumpa explains that he needs to go a certain direction. And Jasper – much like a Garmin – recalculates and says, “Go right Grumpa.”
Stoplights are the best because when it goes from red to green Jasper yells, “GO GO GRUMPA!” If you remember the show Inspector Gadget who always said, “Go go gadget!” Well, that’s how it sounds.
And you need to know, to experience the full effect of this, that Jasper has only one volume – LOUD!!!
We play “Yellow Car.” The idea is that there aren’t many yellow cars on the road so it’s a good way to keep a kid quiet in the car. But Jasper has a fluid understanding of what yellow is. And what a car is.
“Yellow school bus!” “Yellow truck!” “Yellow digger!” “Yellow fire hydrant!” And then the whole yellow thing kind of derails. “Cement mixer!” “Bump sign!” Etc.
And when we arrive at our destination he’ll yell “GOOD DRIVING GRUMPA!” We have an appointment with an audiologist in October. 😊
Ratlets
Jasper loves our “ratties” or “mousies” as he calls them. He knows all their names – Doughnut (Daisy), Dandy, Lily, and Violet. Sadly, for Jasper, he tries to make friends with them the same way he does with his friend Jude. By shrieking, blowing on them, and jumping up and down.
And the ratlets want to be his friend – for less than altruistic reasons. Sometimes Jasper has French fries and Jasper loves offering them one between the bars. We have to supervise this. Jazz knows not to stick his salty greasy fingers in - the ratlets will think this is food. But while Doughnut might be last to the gym, she’s first in line for the food. And, well, while we are size positive here, we also want to be fair to the other ratlets.
He likes to watch the ratets in their ‘play’ cage while he has his lunch. We move his special chair close to the cage.
Sadly, and probably because of the refined carbs in the fries and bun, Jasper eventually cannot contain his excitement anymore, and we have to move the ratlets into the bedroom. Jazz is always heartbroken, but can be distracted by racing his ratlet toys and by reading Pigeon books by Moe Willem. He especially loves Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog. (Note to Jan: Buy the series. You love them as much as Jasper.)
Bigger
Jasper is almost desperate to get “so big.” He reminds us every time we see him about how big he is getting. His Mom told me that the other day when he was having his bath he started drinking the bathtub water. When his Mom discouraged him from doing this, his response was “I need to get bigger!” I’m not sure if this was the argument for drinking bathwater or if he was saying “When I’m bigger, I’ll do what I want!”
Laur was giving Jazz a ride home the other day and Laur started whistling. Jasper said, “What doing, Grumpa?” Laur responded that he was whistling and Jasper indicated he wanted to be able to whistle. Laur explained that it took him a long time to learn how to whistle and how that he was much bigger than Jasper when he finally learned.
Jasper said, “Whistle again Grumpa.” So Laur did and Jasper joined him – humming with his mouth in an “O” shape. When he got home he proudly announced to his Mom that he could now whistle and showed her how.
I expect he will now demand to be able to drink his bathwater.