October 3, 2013 – Terminator Sign Language
One of the instructors at the gym where I take classes has a Terminator eye. I’ll call her T-K (Terminator, Kindly.) Whether it’s Body Flow or Power Circuit, T-K can spot a misaligned knee or a low-performing arm in any location of the classroom.
My oldest daughter Anna also has Terminator vision – but hers is focused on grammar glitches and punctuation slipups. (And my writing causes her do the evil red-eyed squint daily.)
Those of you who know me know that I do not have a keen eye – certainly not for following exercise instructors or for editing. The saying goes, “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” But I say, “Don’t let the pressure to be good keep you from trying new things.” (Not a catchy saying, I know.)
*****
I certainly don’t have an eye for American Sign Language (ASL.) I continue to struggle. The instructor is awesome, the class is friendly, and I’m … well, you remember Homer Simpson in the witness protection program? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioYJNjFBs24 That is me exactly!
Silly me. Last night after I got out of class I burst into tears because the teacher asked us if we were having “fun.” And he finger-spelled F-U-N, repeatedly. I had no idea what he was saying. What we had been doing was playing “Go Fish” in groups. Three things going on at one time – playing cards, which I’m bad at to begin with. AND we had to sign the colour of the card, plus the letter. Argh!
My hubs genuinely felt sorry for me – my eyes were still red when I got home – and he suggested I simply quit the class. He said, “You don’t need to do this to yourself.” But I’m not going to give up yet. Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s smart to quit if you are involved in something you think is unethical or just plain stupid. Time can only be spent once. But I think it’s good to learn a new language – it’s very good for the brain and might prove to be useful.
It could also prove to be very embarrassing. For example, there is a symbol for shaving and there is a symbol for beard. Accidentally put them together in a question format i.e. “Are you shaving your beard?” and what you have most likely asked is, “Do you want to have sex?” Whereas Laurence might think that was sweet if he had a clue about what I was saying, my ASL teacher, who has a beard, might not.
Another example of an ASL gaffe that I could easily make is this one. The ASL symbol for “beans” is very similar to “that part of a man that makes him different from a woman.” (Blush!) So were I to sign something I say very often -“I’ve never met a bean I haven’t liked…” – well, that could get me into a conversation I don’t want to be part of.
*****
For a variety of reasons, it may be best that I don’t enroll in ASL Level Two. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to be without a challenge. I am thinkin’ “Learn to Swim” class, again. The Y offers it Sunday mornings at 11:30, which would be right after church for me. It’s only half an hour – I’d be home for tomato soup and grilled (vegan) cheese sandwiches by 12:30.
And the nice thing is, if I end up blubbering in the pool (because this will be attempt #5) – no one will know. What do a few tears add to the water level? And red eyes? Chlorine will do that every time.
It’s only if I get ONE red eye – that’s when you have to worry. (Hint: “Terminator”) Though for the life of me, I have no idea what I’d be hunting down.
My oldest daughter Anna also has Terminator vision – but hers is focused on grammar glitches and punctuation slipups. (And my writing causes her do the evil red-eyed squint daily.)
Those of you who know me know that I do not have a keen eye – certainly not for following exercise instructors or for editing. The saying goes, “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” But I say, “Don’t let the pressure to be good keep you from trying new things.” (Not a catchy saying, I know.)
*****
I certainly don’t have an eye for American Sign Language (ASL.) I continue to struggle. The instructor is awesome, the class is friendly, and I’m … well, you remember Homer Simpson in the witness protection program? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioYJNjFBs24 That is me exactly!
Silly me. Last night after I got out of class I burst into tears because the teacher asked us if we were having “fun.” And he finger-spelled F-U-N, repeatedly. I had no idea what he was saying. What we had been doing was playing “Go Fish” in groups. Three things going on at one time – playing cards, which I’m bad at to begin with. AND we had to sign the colour of the card, plus the letter. Argh!
My hubs genuinely felt sorry for me – my eyes were still red when I got home – and he suggested I simply quit the class. He said, “You don’t need to do this to yourself.” But I’m not going to give up yet. Don’t get me wrong – I think it’s smart to quit if you are involved in something you think is unethical or just plain stupid. Time can only be spent once. But I think it’s good to learn a new language – it’s very good for the brain and might prove to be useful.
It could also prove to be very embarrassing. For example, there is a symbol for shaving and there is a symbol for beard. Accidentally put them together in a question format i.e. “Are you shaving your beard?” and what you have most likely asked is, “Do you want to have sex?” Whereas Laurence might think that was sweet if he had a clue about what I was saying, my ASL teacher, who has a beard, might not.
Another example of an ASL gaffe that I could easily make is this one. The ASL symbol for “beans” is very similar to “that part of a man that makes him different from a woman.” (Blush!) So were I to sign something I say very often -“I’ve never met a bean I haven’t liked…” – well, that could get me into a conversation I don’t want to be part of.
*****
For a variety of reasons, it may be best that I don’t enroll in ASL Level Two. At the same time, I wouldn’t want to be without a challenge. I am thinkin’ “Learn to Swim” class, again. The Y offers it Sunday mornings at 11:30, which would be right after church for me. It’s only half an hour – I’d be home for tomato soup and grilled (vegan) cheese sandwiches by 12:30.
And the nice thing is, if I end up blubbering in the pool (because this will be attempt #5) – no one will know. What do a few tears add to the water level? And red eyes? Chlorine will do that every time.
It’s only if I get ONE red eye – that’s when you have to worry. (Hint: “Terminator”) Though for the life of me, I have no idea what I’d be hunting down.