Oh My Garmin! April 28, 2018
Does anyone have a second-hand Garmin for sale? (For those who are even less techy than I am, a Garmin is a “global positioning device.” Or in Jan language, a cute little box that I plug into the cigarette lighter and it tells me where I am supposed to go without losing its temper.)
We have a Garmin, but it’s in our old caddie in AZ. Not that we use it very much down there. Laur does pretty much all the driving and loves paper maps. And on those rare occasions that I do drive somewhere close by (because Laur doesn’t feel a need to chauffeur me,) I do like to have our Garmin with me. “Garmy” is company. (Sad, I know.)
Why don’t I just use the GPS on our cell phone? First of all, I’m an old person. I only use my phone for phone calls (gasp!) and for taking pictures. Full stop. I have not advanced past the Star Trek like flip phone. Secondly, our phone coverage – because we use a low-cost carrier – is spotty at best.
Why don’t I just go to google maps and print out the directions? Because we still don’t have internet and our computers are linked to our printer by internet. More on that later.
Anyhoo, I had an appointment in Niagara Falls. Laur had to stay home because we were expecting a Bell telephone guy to come and flip the switch that would give us our internet back. Because a person has to “buzz in” to get into our apartment, and this “buzz” goes to our cell phone, Laur had to keep the phone. This will be part of the story later.
I have no sense of direction and a ridiculously bad memory. Although I had been to this same place for two other appointments, I had no clue how to get there. Laur wrote out the directions on a scrap of paper for me including the words “turn left off of Dorchester.”
I managed to find my way there without incident – other than that is was pouring rain and I was surrounded by gigantic transports. Well, there was one little problem. I had gotten the day wrong. The appointment was for the next day. Any self confidence or steadiness of mind went down the Welland Canal at that point. I worry that I will get Alzheimer’s and getting days wrong and getting lost are two signs…
Nothing to do but go home. My caregiver wasn’t even at her office. Laur said to me earlier, when handing me the directions, “Just reverse these to get home.” But I was in a discombobulated state and when I saw the street sign “Dorchester,” I followed the directions – I turned left, when I should have turned right.
I drove up and down the street for half an hour looking for Mountain Road that would take me to the QEW. It was gone! Finally, I stopped at a Home Hardware. I thought to myself, “Fuddle duddle! I am going to buy another Garmin!” They didn’t sell them, but a kind clerk told me how to get to the QEW. Go left, then go left and keep going. That I could do and that I did do and, yee haw, I arrived at the QEW.
But which way to go? I opted for Toronto. Hoping that it would take me through St. Catharines which it did. I got off on the exit for Niagara St. and white-knuckled it back home. Yes, I know a 15-minute drive ought not to require white-knuckling it, but when I see vehicles, I don’t see methods of transportation. I see 5,000 pounds of metal hurdling itself all around me.
Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Laur was having an equally discombobulating day. The Bell guy came and after a few unsuccessful attempts in our apartment complex, let Laur know he’d have to connect us from elsewhere. After about an hour, Laur tried our internet and it was still not working. He phoned our internet provider and, after an hour on the phone with the tech, got nowhere. The tech suggested that maybe our modem is dead and that the company could sell us one, but it wouldn’t be there for about five days. It was actually a lot more convoluted than that and I asked Laur to write it down for me, but he refused. “Why live the same nightmare twice?”
You may well be asking yourself, “Jan, just get a second phone. That way when you get into trouble you can just phone Laur.” If only it were that simple. The sad truth is that anything that is smaller than a newborn, I will very likely lose. And even if I don’t lose it, I will drop it, repeatedly.
But the end of the day we were both ready to commit ourselves to “memory care” (dementia) units. Thankfully, my next day went off without hitch. I did my 5 km jog-walk in the morning, helped at the school kids breakfast program, did a spin class, met with our pastor about pastoral care visiting, drove myself to and from my appointment with no glitches, had a meeting with the chair of our activities committee here a Jubilee Place, and started on the JP May newsletter. In the evening I accompanied my hubs to his presentation on the Welland Canal – I was in charge of changing the power point pictures – and I didn’t screw up. Not even once. (This is not bragging. This is relief!)
*****
I do have an interview booked to be a volunteer at a local “older age” home – very likely the “total care” or “memory care” unit. My motives are a little mixed. Truly, I love visiting with seniors. They have lived the life and the some. All my sorrows are puny compared to what these folks have been through.
But my other motive is more devious. I know that there are seniors in memory care units who are absolutely “Houdini” in getting out of these places. I know that my time is coming and if I cannot be their co-conspirator, at least let me be their best student…
We have a Garmin, but it’s in our old caddie in AZ. Not that we use it very much down there. Laur does pretty much all the driving and loves paper maps. And on those rare occasions that I do drive somewhere close by (because Laur doesn’t feel a need to chauffeur me,) I do like to have our Garmin with me. “Garmy” is company. (Sad, I know.)
Why don’t I just use the GPS on our cell phone? First of all, I’m an old person. I only use my phone for phone calls (gasp!) and for taking pictures. Full stop. I have not advanced past the Star Trek like flip phone. Secondly, our phone coverage – because we use a low-cost carrier – is spotty at best.
Why don’t I just go to google maps and print out the directions? Because we still don’t have internet and our computers are linked to our printer by internet. More on that later.
Anyhoo, I had an appointment in Niagara Falls. Laur had to stay home because we were expecting a Bell telephone guy to come and flip the switch that would give us our internet back. Because a person has to “buzz in” to get into our apartment, and this “buzz” goes to our cell phone, Laur had to keep the phone. This will be part of the story later.
I have no sense of direction and a ridiculously bad memory. Although I had been to this same place for two other appointments, I had no clue how to get there. Laur wrote out the directions on a scrap of paper for me including the words “turn left off of Dorchester.”
I managed to find my way there without incident – other than that is was pouring rain and I was surrounded by gigantic transports. Well, there was one little problem. I had gotten the day wrong. The appointment was for the next day. Any self confidence or steadiness of mind went down the Welland Canal at that point. I worry that I will get Alzheimer’s and getting days wrong and getting lost are two signs…
Nothing to do but go home. My caregiver wasn’t even at her office. Laur said to me earlier, when handing me the directions, “Just reverse these to get home.” But I was in a discombobulated state and when I saw the street sign “Dorchester,” I followed the directions – I turned left, when I should have turned right.
I drove up and down the street for half an hour looking for Mountain Road that would take me to the QEW. It was gone! Finally, I stopped at a Home Hardware. I thought to myself, “Fuddle duddle! I am going to buy another Garmin!” They didn’t sell them, but a kind clerk told me how to get to the QEW. Go left, then go left and keep going. That I could do and that I did do and, yee haw, I arrived at the QEW.
But which way to go? I opted for Toronto. Hoping that it would take me through St. Catharines which it did. I got off on the exit for Niagara St. and white-knuckled it back home. Yes, I know a 15-minute drive ought not to require white-knuckling it, but when I see vehicles, I don’t see methods of transportation. I see 5,000 pounds of metal hurdling itself all around me.
Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Laur was having an equally discombobulating day. The Bell guy came and after a few unsuccessful attempts in our apartment complex, let Laur know he’d have to connect us from elsewhere. After about an hour, Laur tried our internet and it was still not working. He phoned our internet provider and, after an hour on the phone with the tech, got nowhere. The tech suggested that maybe our modem is dead and that the company could sell us one, but it wouldn’t be there for about five days. It was actually a lot more convoluted than that and I asked Laur to write it down for me, but he refused. “Why live the same nightmare twice?”
You may well be asking yourself, “Jan, just get a second phone. That way when you get into trouble you can just phone Laur.” If only it were that simple. The sad truth is that anything that is smaller than a newborn, I will very likely lose. And even if I don’t lose it, I will drop it, repeatedly.
But the end of the day we were both ready to commit ourselves to “memory care” (dementia) units. Thankfully, my next day went off without hitch. I did my 5 km jog-walk in the morning, helped at the school kids breakfast program, did a spin class, met with our pastor about pastoral care visiting, drove myself to and from my appointment with no glitches, had a meeting with the chair of our activities committee here a Jubilee Place, and started on the JP May newsletter. In the evening I accompanied my hubs to his presentation on the Welland Canal – I was in charge of changing the power point pictures – and I didn’t screw up. Not even once. (This is not bragging. This is relief!)
*****
I do have an interview booked to be a volunteer at a local “older age” home – very likely the “total care” or “memory care” unit. My motives are a little mixed. Truly, I love visiting with seniors. They have lived the life and the some. All my sorrows are puny compared to what these folks have been through.
But my other motive is more devious. I know that there are seniors in memory care units who are absolutely “Houdini” in getting out of these places. I know that my time is coming and if I cannot be their co-conspirator, at least let me be their best student…