Seniors' Home - May 25, 2019
The other day I was at a Seniors’ Home. It was about 2 in the afternoon and I heard some accordion music coming from an activities room. I peaked in the window and listening for a bit. There was a large jug of golden liquid on a table and they were singing in German, I assumed.
I thought to myself, “Maybe they are having a mini Octoberfest.” I didn’t know what they were singing but, mind you, Octoberfest is not my scene. Not a lot of vegan options. 😊 I also thought, “It’s a little early in the day to be drinking beer, but if they’ve made it this long, why not?! Besides, no one will be driving.”
Later that day, I looked at the events board. It was a German HYMN Sing! That golden liquid was very likely apple juice. And then I thought to myself, “But nobody was smiling… Maybe the Good Lord will turn it into apple cider!”
*****
When Laur and I go grocery shopping together, Laur insists on bagging the groceries. He doesn’t like the way I do it – in the same way he doesn’t like the way I stack the dishwasher. He complains, “You just toss things in there. You need to have a system. Heavy things going the bottom; light things go in the top!”
We were at Food Basics and I always play this game with Laur and the cashier of how much this is going to cost us. I said, “$40!” Laur said, “$38!” Laur had barely started to pack the groceries up when our cashier called out, “She’s right. You’re already over $40!”
Laur returned to his bagging and thought to himself, “Something is very odd here…” He looked up and saw our large grocery bag still on the conveyer belt. He had started – very neatly – to stack things in the cart but had forgot to use the bag.
Said he, when we got back in the car, “The cashier distracted me! And next time I’m going to guess higher!” To think that we both used to have jobs and were very competent at them!
*****
I now have a GoodLife list posted on the fridge so I can check things off before we head to the gym. Yes, I have done such silly things as intend to go to a spin class and forget my water container. And plan to swim, but forget my suit.
I am putting a list together for when we go biking too. An extra tube and an air pump are no longer seen as merely fashion accessories.
Now, I’m thinking we need a list just to get out of the door. Including our phone and some maps. You can guess where this is headed. We were heading out to meet up with our kids Tom and Julie and their son – our grandson - Jasper. I said to Laur, I’ll put our phone and my address-phone book in my fanny pack – just in case we need to call the kids.’ (Yes, an address-phone book is an outdated concept. I’m out-of-date.)
And I promptly put the phone and book into my purse and neglected to bring it – though I did remember to bring the fanny pack! This would not have been a problem except we got lost somewhere west of Hamilton. Laur was so frustrated, “There was no sign for Mohawk Road!” No worries, we could just check out our southern Ontario map. Except we didn’t have it. It was getting really ratty and I’d tossed it.
OK, get the cell phone out! We can pull up a google map on that. Oops. We didn’t have that either. Which also meant we couldn’t phone our kids to tell them we’d be a little late.
All of a sudden, I remembered we had a Garmin. Laur says “Type in 650 Governors Rd.” Easy to say, hard to do. I have fat fingertips and I kept misspelling Governors. In exasperation, Laur says, “Just type in ‘Dundas Valley Conservation Area!” That I could spell. Why didn’t Laur type it in you might ask? Because he was driving around in circles looking for something that looked sort of familiar…
Garmy came up with directions. Laur wasn’t keen on them. He was certain there was a better route. But she got us there. And that non-existent sign? On the way back we saw it. I welcome self-driving cars!
*****
We have an Aeroplan points card. What we can use it for I have no idea, but Laur said to me the other month, “We need to use this card before the end of May or we’ll lose all our points.” Point taken but not acted upon.
Then one day Laur miraculously remembered this and gassed up our car at a station he was sure gave out Aeroplan points. Turns out, it hadn’t for over a year. The only other store he could find on a current list that Laur and I would actually darken the door of was “Home Hardware.”
I came up with a great plan. Said I to Laur, “You’ll have time between when you’re finished at GoodLife and when you pick me up from my Palliative Care training to go to Home Hardware. To which Laur responded, “What do we need?” We both thought about it. There was nothing we needed. We live in Seniors’ Housing where the superintendent will replace a light bulb if it burns out. I said helpfully, “You’ll find something…”
When Laur picked me up I asked him what he found at the Home Hardware and he said, “Pillowcases!” Turns out he couldn’t find a thing we needed. We’re overstocked on tissues of every kind (because we forget we’ve bought them), he has no need of tools anymore, we don’t garden, and there is no sense buying me something for the kitchen…
Laur explained further, “I roamed around in there for 15 minutes looking for something. I had three guys come up to me and ask if they could help me find something. I said, ‘No, I’m just looking.’” I knew what the staff was thinking – this old guy has escaped from the Memory Care unit and can’t find his way back. It was getting close to the time to pick me up so Laur grabbed two sets of pillowcases, paid for them, remembered to use his Aeroplan card, and came to get me.
I said to Laur, “We don’t need any more pillowcases.” Laur looked at me with the stare that says, “I’m so far past the end of my tether, I’m about to choke!” So I changed my tune. “Well, if there is ever an apocalypse when all plastic bags have been banned, we’ll have something to barter with…”
I thought to myself, “Maybe they are having a mini Octoberfest.” I didn’t know what they were singing but, mind you, Octoberfest is not my scene. Not a lot of vegan options. 😊 I also thought, “It’s a little early in the day to be drinking beer, but if they’ve made it this long, why not?! Besides, no one will be driving.”
Later that day, I looked at the events board. It was a German HYMN Sing! That golden liquid was very likely apple juice. And then I thought to myself, “But nobody was smiling… Maybe the Good Lord will turn it into apple cider!”
*****
When Laur and I go grocery shopping together, Laur insists on bagging the groceries. He doesn’t like the way I do it – in the same way he doesn’t like the way I stack the dishwasher. He complains, “You just toss things in there. You need to have a system. Heavy things going the bottom; light things go in the top!”
We were at Food Basics and I always play this game with Laur and the cashier of how much this is going to cost us. I said, “$40!” Laur said, “$38!” Laur had barely started to pack the groceries up when our cashier called out, “She’s right. You’re already over $40!”
Laur returned to his bagging and thought to himself, “Something is very odd here…” He looked up and saw our large grocery bag still on the conveyer belt. He had started – very neatly – to stack things in the cart but had forgot to use the bag.
Said he, when we got back in the car, “The cashier distracted me! And next time I’m going to guess higher!” To think that we both used to have jobs and were very competent at them!
*****
I now have a GoodLife list posted on the fridge so I can check things off before we head to the gym. Yes, I have done such silly things as intend to go to a spin class and forget my water container. And plan to swim, but forget my suit.
I am putting a list together for when we go biking too. An extra tube and an air pump are no longer seen as merely fashion accessories.
Now, I’m thinking we need a list just to get out of the door. Including our phone and some maps. You can guess where this is headed. We were heading out to meet up with our kids Tom and Julie and their son – our grandson - Jasper. I said to Laur, I’ll put our phone and my address-phone book in my fanny pack – just in case we need to call the kids.’ (Yes, an address-phone book is an outdated concept. I’m out-of-date.)
And I promptly put the phone and book into my purse and neglected to bring it – though I did remember to bring the fanny pack! This would not have been a problem except we got lost somewhere west of Hamilton. Laur was so frustrated, “There was no sign for Mohawk Road!” No worries, we could just check out our southern Ontario map. Except we didn’t have it. It was getting really ratty and I’d tossed it.
OK, get the cell phone out! We can pull up a google map on that. Oops. We didn’t have that either. Which also meant we couldn’t phone our kids to tell them we’d be a little late.
All of a sudden, I remembered we had a Garmin. Laur says “Type in 650 Governors Rd.” Easy to say, hard to do. I have fat fingertips and I kept misspelling Governors. In exasperation, Laur says, “Just type in ‘Dundas Valley Conservation Area!” That I could spell. Why didn’t Laur type it in you might ask? Because he was driving around in circles looking for something that looked sort of familiar…
Garmy came up with directions. Laur wasn’t keen on them. He was certain there was a better route. But she got us there. And that non-existent sign? On the way back we saw it. I welcome self-driving cars!
*****
We have an Aeroplan points card. What we can use it for I have no idea, but Laur said to me the other month, “We need to use this card before the end of May or we’ll lose all our points.” Point taken but not acted upon.
Then one day Laur miraculously remembered this and gassed up our car at a station he was sure gave out Aeroplan points. Turns out, it hadn’t for over a year. The only other store he could find on a current list that Laur and I would actually darken the door of was “Home Hardware.”
I came up with a great plan. Said I to Laur, “You’ll have time between when you’re finished at GoodLife and when you pick me up from my Palliative Care training to go to Home Hardware. To which Laur responded, “What do we need?” We both thought about it. There was nothing we needed. We live in Seniors’ Housing where the superintendent will replace a light bulb if it burns out. I said helpfully, “You’ll find something…”
When Laur picked me up I asked him what he found at the Home Hardware and he said, “Pillowcases!” Turns out he couldn’t find a thing we needed. We’re overstocked on tissues of every kind (because we forget we’ve bought them), he has no need of tools anymore, we don’t garden, and there is no sense buying me something for the kitchen…
Laur explained further, “I roamed around in there for 15 minutes looking for something. I had three guys come up to me and ask if they could help me find something. I said, ‘No, I’m just looking.’” I knew what the staff was thinking – this old guy has escaped from the Memory Care unit and can’t find his way back. It was getting close to the time to pick me up so Laur grabbed two sets of pillowcases, paid for them, remembered to use his Aeroplan card, and came to get me.
I said to Laur, “We don’t need any more pillowcases.” Laur looked at me with the stare that says, “I’m so far past the end of my tether, I’m about to choke!” So I changed my tune. “Well, if there is ever an apocalypse when all plastic bags have been banned, we’ll have something to barter with…”