Fancy Pants! - March 17, 2018
Folks who know me know that I cannot stand shopping – except maybe for groceries…maybe. I have family and friends who see it as enjoyable – “retail therapy.” Me, I need therapy after the experience – the experience which feels like having a friendly boa constrictor wrap itself around you as you enter the store, and continue to hug you ever more tightly until you leave. Gah!
It is no word of a lie – my mom Grannie Marj will attest that she continued to dress me until I was about 35. When she got sick of her clothes – and mom loves good outfits – she’d bring them over to me. So they were out of fashion by about five years. How would I know? I’m not sure why it stopped. Perhaps mom decided it was time to cut the apron strings. (This would be an inside joke – my mom and I don’t cook.)
I have very few clothes – which you will notice if you hang out with me or see pictures of me. It goes something like this. Two pairs of jeans, two pairs of summer dress pants, two pairs of capris, four long sleeve shirts, four short sleeved shirts, two winter dresses, and two summer dresses, one pair of summer pjs, one pair of winter pjs – you get the picture.
But every few years, something goes awry. My clothes wear out, they get a permanent stain, I lose something, etc. This time, I shrank a pair of summer dress pants. I had never washed them before – and then I did. They were now mid-calved. What to do? Value Village type stores are worse than W*lM*rt for me. Racks and racks of clothing at prices I can well afford. Almost as bad as all-you-can-eat buffets – for me. I never go into them.
My go-to places are Winners for dressy clothes and Mark’s Work Wearhouse for casual clothes. (On me they all look pretty much the same anyway. It’s what happens when you don’t iron and leave things in the dryer for a day or two.) And I will only buy something if I can buy two of it – this way I don’t have to think too much about what to wear. And it works because I do laundry every two days.
No Winners here in Green Valley, but we do have a Bealls. I put on my big girl panties – these I buy in bulk - and off I went. Good heavens! Juniors, Petites, Women’s, Plus Sizes, etc. My boa constrictor was feeling downright ADHD! And then I saw them. I couldn’t miss them. A brightly coloured pair of pants with an elastic waist in my size! I hate trying things on, but I detest waiting in the returns line even more. Tried them on – they covered my essentials and came down to the floor, almost. Sold!
The next thing was trying them on for Laurence’s thumbs up or down. If you know my hubs, you know he doesn’t much mind how I look. But if he thinks something looks ridiculous, I know I’m really off my rocker. He looked at them and said, “I like them. I’ll able to find you in a crowd!” Phew. I wore them to church. They didn’t fall off (I like baggy clothes) and no one whispered in my ear, “It’s not pyjama day.”
Fab! I have a new member of my clothing choir – likely for the next ten years.
It is no word of a lie – my mom Grannie Marj will attest that she continued to dress me until I was about 35. When she got sick of her clothes – and mom loves good outfits – she’d bring them over to me. So they were out of fashion by about five years. How would I know? I’m not sure why it stopped. Perhaps mom decided it was time to cut the apron strings. (This would be an inside joke – my mom and I don’t cook.)
I have very few clothes – which you will notice if you hang out with me or see pictures of me. It goes something like this. Two pairs of jeans, two pairs of summer dress pants, two pairs of capris, four long sleeve shirts, four short sleeved shirts, two winter dresses, and two summer dresses, one pair of summer pjs, one pair of winter pjs – you get the picture.
But every few years, something goes awry. My clothes wear out, they get a permanent stain, I lose something, etc. This time, I shrank a pair of summer dress pants. I had never washed them before – and then I did. They were now mid-calved. What to do? Value Village type stores are worse than W*lM*rt for me. Racks and racks of clothing at prices I can well afford. Almost as bad as all-you-can-eat buffets – for me. I never go into them.
My go-to places are Winners for dressy clothes and Mark’s Work Wearhouse for casual clothes. (On me they all look pretty much the same anyway. It’s what happens when you don’t iron and leave things in the dryer for a day or two.) And I will only buy something if I can buy two of it – this way I don’t have to think too much about what to wear. And it works because I do laundry every two days.
No Winners here in Green Valley, but we do have a Bealls. I put on my big girl panties – these I buy in bulk - and off I went. Good heavens! Juniors, Petites, Women’s, Plus Sizes, etc. My boa constrictor was feeling downright ADHD! And then I saw them. I couldn’t miss them. A brightly coloured pair of pants with an elastic waist in my size! I hate trying things on, but I detest waiting in the returns line even more. Tried them on – they covered my essentials and came down to the floor, almost. Sold!
The next thing was trying them on for Laurence’s thumbs up or down. If you know my hubs, you know he doesn’t much mind how I look. But if he thinks something looks ridiculous, I know I’m really off my rocker. He looked at them and said, “I like them. I’ll able to find you in a crowd!” Phew. I wore them to church. They didn’t fall off (I like baggy clothes) and no one whispered in my ear, “It’s not pyjama day.”
Fab! I have a new member of my clothing choir – likely for the next ten years.