Vanland - June 5, 2021
Our mechanic, Ron, from Ron’s Automotive, delivered the bad news to Laur. Our 2012 black van – “Hot Start” (named from the auto sales business we bought her from) – with 115,000 km on her, was coming to the end of the line at 215,000 km. A whole lot of things needed to be replaced. Now me, I would have happily kept pouring money into her. (Why “her?” Because my Dad always called his cars “Bessy.”) SO many memories made with that van…
But hubs was getting a little frustrated with the fickle air conditioning. (It worked just fine on my side.) The lack of acceleration. (How fast do we need to go?) The never-ending softening winter tire on the driver’s front side. (But we now have our spring tires on.) The rear brakes that needed replacing. (OK, that one I agree with.) The list was endless.
OK, fine. If I couldn’t keep Hot Start, then at least I wanted a yellow van. Yellow is my favourite colour and it’s hard to miss on the road. In fact, Jasper, Em, and I – and Laur gets dragged into it – play YELLOW CAR when doing errands or going places.
Sadly, there were no used minivans in yellow available in the St. Catharines area. Likely in the entire Niagara Region and the GTA . OK, I would settle for red. I’ve always wanted a CHERRY RED vehicle. And – eureka – I found one at ABC car dealership. (Not the real name, of course.) Great price, great mileage. An unbelievable deal, really. I emailed immediately and was told, “It just sold, but we have…” Yah, right…
I had to accept that I wouldn’t be able to pick out a gently used van that came in yellow or red. Very likely it was going to be black (like we were currently driving) or white (like out first van.)
Ron at Ron’s Automotive suggested we contacted Brackland’s Auto Sales. Ron and Katie do the checking out and repair of the vehicles sold at Brackland’s, and most customers report back being pleased. I emailed Paul at Brackland’s – both names are real, by the way – and he wrote…
“… I purchased a 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT today in white, with black leather, reverse camera, one owner with 110,000 kms. I should have it tomorrow by the end of the day and or Wednesday AM. It was owned by friends of mine actually. It would be $13,500 for you. Very well maintained. I can send you pics of it once I have it, if you like.”
I wasn’t thrilled with the colour or the leather, but Laur was on this like jam on toast. A very good price! Low mileage! It would get checked out by Ron’s Auto! And – as it turns out – Paul would give us $2500 for our van Hot Start which is far more than we expected!
We took it out for a test drive and immediately wrote the cheque. Paul didn’t even ask us to certify the cheque – which we would have happily done. Mind you, we would be awfully easy to track down. You see, I plan to get two decals put on it. Two fun ones. One of a train and one of a boat.
We spend a lot of time with Jasper looking for boats in the Welland Canal – he knows the names of a lot of them – and looking for the train that does the Grantham Spur Route not far from us. We even know the names of the engineers – Tom and Randy.
But it gets more interesting than that. I think this is how it happened. We couldn’t make out the name of a ship one day and Grumpa Laur called it “Boaty McBoatface.” Jasper thought this was a riot. And this started a new name game. Tree-y McTreeface! Trucky McTruckface! And, of course, Trainy McTrainface.
There really was ALMOST a ship called Boaty McBoatface. “A proposal by a British government agency to let the Internet suggest a name for a $287 million polar research ship seemed like a good idea at the time. But what were the vast majority of the names suggested? BOATY MCBOATFACE!” Well, the government turned it down because it was too silly.
The same thing happened again! There was a public vote in Sweden to name four trains running between the Swedish cities of Stockholm and Gothenburg. The number one choice? TRAINY MCTRAINFACE! "We like this name as we think that Boaty McBoatface from UK kind of got his revenge now by his cousin Trainy McTrainface winning this poll," a spokesperson told the news media.
So our van will have a cartoon pic of these – along with their names Boat McBoatface and Trainy McTrainface.
BTW, there also is a Vanny McVanface – built and owned by Mikah Meyer. One of his claims to fame is that – in his repurposed van – he visited all 419 U.S. National Park Service sites in a single journey. It took him three years. He gained lots of sponsors but, sadly, lost his partner. Don’t worry. The partner didn’t die. It’s just the 24/7/365 togetherness in cramped quarters without heat or AC or plumbing? You get the get the picture! I sure do! I’d be gone!
You can read the whole story here. It’s vantastic! https://www.mikahmeyer.com/post/2016/07/23/the-transformation-of-vanny-mcvanfac
But hubs was getting a little frustrated with the fickle air conditioning. (It worked just fine on my side.) The lack of acceleration. (How fast do we need to go?) The never-ending softening winter tire on the driver’s front side. (But we now have our spring tires on.) The rear brakes that needed replacing. (OK, that one I agree with.) The list was endless.
OK, fine. If I couldn’t keep Hot Start, then at least I wanted a yellow van. Yellow is my favourite colour and it’s hard to miss on the road. In fact, Jasper, Em, and I – and Laur gets dragged into it – play YELLOW CAR when doing errands or going places.
Sadly, there were no used minivans in yellow available in the St. Catharines area. Likely in the entire Niagara Region and the GTA . OK, I would settle for red. I’ve always wanted a CHERRY RED vehicle. And – eureka – I found one at ABC car dealership. (Not the real name, of course.) Great price, great mileage. An unbelievable deal, really. I emailed immediately and was told, “It just sold, but we have…” Yah, right…
I had to accept that I wouldn’t be able to pick out a gently used van that came in yellow or red. Very likely it was going to be black (like we were currently driving) or white (like out first van.)
Ron at Ron’s Automotive suggested we contacted Brackland’s Auto Sales. Ron and Katie do the checking out and repair of the vehicles sold at Brackland’s, and most customers report back being pleased. I emailed Paul at Brackland’s – both names are real, by the way – and he wrote…
“… I purchased a 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT today in white, with black leather, reverse camera, one owner with 110,000 kms. I should have it tomorrow by the end of the day and or Wednesday AM. It was owned by friends of mine actually. It would be $13,500 for you. Very well maintained. I can send you pics of it once I have it, if you like.”
I wasn’t thrilled with the colour or the leather, but Laur was on this like jam on toast. A very good price! Low mileage! It would get checked out by Ron’s Auto! And – as it turns out – Paul would give us $2500 for our van Hot Start which is far more than we expected!
We took it out for a test drive and immediately wrote the cheque. Paul didn’t even ask us to certify the cheque – which we would have happily done. Mind you, we would be awfully easy to track down. You see, I plan to get two decals put on it. Two fun ones. One of a train and one of a boat.
We spend a lot of time with Jasper looking for boats in the Welland Canal – he knows the names of a lot of them – and looking for the train that does the Grantham Spur Route not far from us. We even know the names of the engineers – Tom and Randy.
But it gets more interesting than that. I think this is how it happened. We couldn’t make out the name of a ship one day and Grumpa Laur called it “Boaty McBoatface.” Jasper thought this was a riot. And this started a new name game. Tree-y McTreeface! Trucky McTruckface! And, of course, Trainy McTrainface.
There really was ALMOST a ship called Boaty McBoatface. “A proposal by a British government agency to let the Internet suggest a name for a $287 million polar research ship seemed like a good idea at the time. But what were the vast majority of the names suggested? BOATY MCBOATFACE!” Well, the government turned it down because it was too silly.
The same thing happened again! There was a public vote in Sweden to name four trains running between the Swedish cities of Stockholm and Gothenburg. The number one choice? TRAINY MCTRAINFACE! "We like this name as we think that Boaty McBoatface from UK kind of got his revenge now by his cousin Trainy McTrainface winning this poll," a spokesperson told the news media.
So our van will have a cartoon pic of these – along with their names Boat McBoatface and Trainy McTrainface.
BTW, there also is a Vanny McVanface – built and owned by Mikah Meyer. One of his claims to fame is that – in his repurposed van – he visited all 419 U.S. National Park Service sites in a single journey. It took him three years. He gained lots of sponsors but, sadly, lost his partner. Don’t worry. The partner didn’t die. It’s just the 24/7/365 togetherness in cramped quarters without heat or AC or plumbing? You get the get the picture! I sure do! I’d be gone!
You can read the whole story here. It’s vantastic! https://www.mikahmeyer.com/post/2016/07/23/the-transformation-of-vanny-mcvanfac