November 9, 2019 - How Do We Know We're In the United States?
Laur and I have this game that we play – OK, I play it and he has to listen – called “How do we know we’re in the United States?” And it can’t be big things like the sign - “Welcome to the Tucson Airport!” It has to be small, subtle things. Here are a few that we (I) have noticed here in Arizona.
People say “Howdy!” Even my somewhat antisocial (some would say introverted) husband will wave at perfect strangers as they walk by our trailer and holler, “Howdy!” I always think that long lost framily members must have shown up, and I go tearing out to the deck to see what’s going on. Only to find my hubs sitting there with his coffee, staring at the mountains, and two people who have continued on. (Has their pace really quickened?)
It is normal to have “coffee-mate” like substance when you serve coffee. And it’s not normal to offer fluid milk or cream. If you were church shopping in Canada and milk or cream wasn’t offered, you would likely not go back there. It’s “just not done” except maybe at homeless shelters. And only if they run out…
Regular old orange pekoe tea is not a “thing” here. You are never going to be offered tea when the coffee comes rolling out. You could ask for tea, but you would get served something that is cold and has enough sugar to shock your pancreas. You can ask for “hot tea,” and you might get a cup of hot water with a tea bag beside it. And some stares.
It is normal to see rattlesnakes. Laur and I were walking the park the other night – Laur scanning the street with a flashlight – and he lit up a small rattlesnake. We just kinda looked at each other and said something like, “Better go behind it – not in front of it.” And along we continued. Can’t imagine being that “meh” in St. Catharines about such a thing.
Bear scat on trails. Yes, I am formerly a Northerner and know what it’s like to live in bear country. But we rarely saw any bear poop, and if we did it wasn’t necessarily on the trail. Here there is bear scat on pretty much every trail in the Santa Rita mountains. Lots of it - fresh, occasionally steaming. What is with that?
Big Cats (bobcats, mountain lions, cougars, and pumas) are a thing here. I’ve jog-walked the park and stumbled by one, lounging on the wall. Another day, Bob, Laur, and I were hiking back from Pete Mountain and Laur heard this horrific sound. Bob didn’t initially hear it because he didn’t have his hearing aids on. And me, I was listening to a podcast. But it sounded like something we’ve never heard before. Laur later asked a Forest Ranger was that sound was. The lad said, “That was a big cat – warning you that you were keeping it awake with all your noise.” Oops!
Guns everywhere. Laur and I were at the W*lM*rt buying some supplies when we first snowbirded here, and we saw a guy wearing a t-shirt, jean shorts, sandals, and a big belt with a Clint Eastwood sized gun. We immediately alerted a staff person. He happened to be working at the Sportswear desk where all the guns and ammo are kept. He glanced at me with a bemused look on his face and said, “Mam! This is an open carry State.” Then looked at my husband. “You want a gun? I can sell you one.”
But what follows is my current favourite. You can buy a (decommissioned) Titan Missile silo and complex not too far from our trailer in Arizona. Here is the description:
“With an asking price of $395,000, this mid-century fixer-upper includes almost 13 acres of open desert and an elaborate, 4,000-square-foot basement built to withstand a nuclear strike. There’s no annoying homeowners’ association to deal with, though there might be a few restrictions on the property left over from the Cold War.” You simply must read this article. https://tucson.com/news/local/for-sale-by-owner-gently-used-nuclear-missile-silo/article_06a15060-ec0c-52e2-ba70-4e404b1b74e8.html?fbclid=IwAR25qNpbClPir_X_O2-gsD3aHSdGeNk7-LtZbaa7aT3NN2C5xD_uCqwbzh0#1
There are 18 remaining silo sites – 18! – and most are privately owned. For example, there is one in Catalina with a Methodist Church on top of it. Except that we already have a church we love – and it’s just spitting distant to the Titan Missile Museum – I’d want to go there, just for the backstory.
Though I fear they too serve Coffeemate instead of Bessie’s-best!
People say “Howdy!” Even my somewhat antisocial (some would say introverted) husband will wave at perfect strangers as they walk by our trailer and holler, “Howdy!” I always think that long lost framily members must have shown up, and I go tearing out to the deck to see what’s going on. Only to find my hubs sitting there with his coffee, staring at the mountains, and two people who have continued on. (Has their pace really quickened?)
It is normal to have “coffee-mate” like substance when you serve coffee. And it’s not normal to offer fluid milk or cream. If you were church shopping in Canada and milk or cream wasn’t offered, you would likely not go back there. It’s “just not done” except maybe at homeless shelters. And only if they run out…
Regular old orange pekoe tea is not a “thing” here. You are never going to be offered tea when the coffee comes rolling out. You could ask for tea, but you would get served something that is cold and has enough sugar to shock your pancreas. You can ask for “hot tea,” and you might get a cup of hot water with a tea bag beside it. And some stares.
It is normal to see rattlesnakes. Laur and I were walking the park the other night – Laur scanning the street with a flashlight – and he lit up a small rattlesnake. We just kinda looked at each other and said something like, “Better go behind it – not in front of it.” And along we continued. Can’t imagine being that “meh” in St. Catharines about such a thing.
Bear scat on trails. Yes, I am formerly a Northerner and know what it’s like to live in bear country. But we rarely saw any bear poop, and if we did it wasn’t necessarily on the trail. Here there is bear scat on pretty much every trail in the Santa Rita mountains. Lots of it - fresh, occasionally steaming. What is with that?
Big Cats (bobcats, mountain lions, cougars, and pumas) are a thing here. I’ve jog-walked the park and stumbled by one, lounging on the wall. Another day, Bob, Laur, and I were hiking back from Pete Mountain and Laur heard this horrific sound. Bob didn’t initially hear it because he didn’t have his hearing aids on. And me, I was listening to a podcast. But it sounded like something we’ve never heard before. Laur later asked a Forest Ranger was that sound was. The lad said, “That was a big cat – warning you that you were keeping it awake with all your noise.” Oops!
Guns everywhere. Laur and I were at the W*lM*rt buying some supplies when we first snowbirded here, and we saw a guy wearing a t-shirt, jean shorts, sandals, and a big belt with a Clint Eastwood sized gun. We immediately alerted a staff person. He happened to be working at the Sportswear desk where all the guns and ammo are kept. He glanced at me with a bemused look on his face and said, “Mam! This is an open carry State.” Then looked at my husband. “You want a gun? I can sell you one.”
But what follows is my current favourite. You can buy a (decommissioned) Titan Missile silo and complex not too far from our trailer in Arizona. Here is the description:
“With an asking price of $395,000, this mid-century fixer-upper includes almost 13 acres of open desert and an elaborate, 4,000-square-foot basement built to withstand a nuclear strike. There’s no annoying homeowners’ association to deal with, though there might be a few restrictions on the property left over from the Cold War.” You simply must read this article. https://tucson.com/news/local/for-sale-by-owner-gently-used-nuclear-missile-silo/article_06a15060-ec0c-52e2-ba70-4e404b1b74e8.html?fbclid=IwAR25qNpbClPir_X_O2-gsD3aHSdGeNk7-LtZbaa7aT3NN2C5xD_uCqwbzh0#1
There are 18 remaining silo sites – 18! – and most are privately owned. For example, there is one in Catalina with a Methodist Church on top of it. Except that we already have a church we love – and it’s just spitting distant to the Titan Missile Museum – I’d want to go there, just for the backstory.
Though I fear they too serve Coffeemate instead of Bessie’s-best!