Bested by the Best - June 10, 2017
We just got back from seeing my mom who loves to be called Granny Marj or GM. At age 95, GM lives in the same house she was born in and still drives her beloved van. She does her own shopping and hires in help for things she cannot do on her own. Because I grew up with this woman, I see this as normal.
I see “What were you thinking!?” as normal too, when it comes to my mom. Here is an example. Of course, if you fall down in the driveway and cut your head open, you drive yourself down to emerg to have it looked at. And when they tell you they need to shave your head in order to put in stitches, you decline them because you value having your hair look nice. And then you refuse a stay overnight in hospital and drive yourself home. That happened a few years ago.
Falls happen at any age. (I should know. A few of mine will be recounted in an upcoming story.) Recently GM fell on the back steps of her house and cracked some ribs. It had been raining and the steps and handrail were slippery. She had been out for the evening, at Prayer Meeting, not the bar (though we do love to tease GM). No one saw her fall. So, she hauled herself into the house and phoned for an ambulance to take her to hospital to get checked out.
Yep, fractured ribs. Nothing to be done except take pain pills for the next few weeks because the pain is extreme and severe. Home Care was contacted and GM was given two visits a day for a week, to start. Imagine the look on the Personal Support Worker’s face when she walked in – expecting to see a person who has been invalided – and met a fully dressed woman, sitting on the couch. The PSWs ask if she would like a sponge bath and mom tells them “I’ve already done that for myself.”
Mom tells them what she’d like to eat and they go and prepare it – oatmeal in the morning, made in a special way. Scrambled eggs and toast in the evening – not too dark with the bread, please. When the caregiver is in the kitchen, mom will tell whoever else is visiting – be it by phone or in person - “I like to give them something to do.”
The PSWs ask how her pain is and she says, “Oh boy, it’s there alright.” They ask if she is taking her pain medication and she says, “I stopped taking that stuff. It made me feel dopey and nauseous. Pain I can handle. Feeling woozy and throwing up, not so much.”
The caregivers can’t believe it. They then turn to me, thinking I must be also be a strong-willed adventurous type. Only to learn that my hubs and I have already moved into Seniors’ Housing where we don’t have to do so much as change a lightbulb, let alone manage a home and yard. Heck, I rarely drive and don’t even like driving. If they were to ask further they’d find out I’m likely on more meds than my mom and I’m a big wimp when it comes to pain.
*****
In the areas where we are similar, GM has me beat hands down. And I love it – if you’re going to be bested, let it be by an almost centenarian.
I am so pleased that I can now swim 20 laps. But my mom used to swim across the Bay of Quinte. Her nickname was Marilyn Bell.
I’m thrilled that I can do group exercise in my 60s. My mom, on the other hand, went to group exercise classes in her 80s – and WALKED there and back.
Laur and I had to build up for months to ride the Niagara triangle (St. Catharines – Port Colborne – Niagara Falls – St Catharines.) Yet my mom in her younger days and her friend “Skinny Lewis” rode the Belleville – Picton – Trenton – Belleville triangle just for something to do. 117 km! (Skinny was not even skinny – at least not at the beginning of the ride.)
*****
But in most areas, we are in fact quite dissimilar. My mom will not go out if her hair isn’t “just so.” Me, I always look like a Dr. Seuss character. (My fault – not my poor stylist’s.) My mom loves to shop for “just right” clothing and likes to stay in style. Me, if it almost fits, I’ll buy it and wear it for years. Mom had many boyfriends in her youth, and actually turned down proposals of marriage. I had only one serious boyfriend and I proposed to him.
My mom would take Laur’s and my kids for much of the summer and thoroughly enjoyed herself. It takes two of us to watch our granddaughter Emma for half a day. And even then, we are bagged. Happily bagged, but definitely out of practice.
Am I jealous?! Heck no! I’m happy and grateful. And hopeful too. Right now Granny Marj pretty much runs a free Bed and Breakfast – she gets so much company. I figure if Laur and I play our cards right, when we age out of our Seniors’ Housing, we can just shuffle over to Granny Marj’s Home for the Invalid and Lunatic. US, not her!
I see “What were you thinking!?” as normal too, when it comes to my mom. Here is an example. Of course, if you fall down in the driveway and cut your head open, you drive yourself down to emerg to have it looked at. And when they tell you they need to shave your head in order to put in stitches, you decline them because you value having your hair look nice. And then you refuse a stay overnight in hospital and drive yourself home. That happened a few years ago.
Falls happen at any age. (I should know. A few of mine will be recounted in an upcoming story.) Recently GM fell on the back steps of her house and cracked some ribs. It had been raining and the steps and handrail were slippery. She had been out for the evening, at Prayer Meeting, not the bar (though we do love to tease GM). No one saw her fall. So, she hauled herself into the house and phoned for an ambulance to take her to hospital to get checked out.
Yep, fractured ribs. Nothing to be done except take pain pills for the next few weeks because the pain is extreme and severe. Home Care was contacted and GM was given two visits a day for a week, to start. Imagine the look on the Personal Support Worker’s face when she walked in – expecting to see a person who has been invalided – and met a fully dressed woman, sitting on the couch. The PSWs ask if she would like a sponge bath and mom tells them “I’ve already done that for myself.”
Mom tells them what she’d like to eat and they go and prepare it – oatmeal in the morning, made in a special way. Scrambled eggs and toast in the evening – not too dark with the bread, please. When the caregiver is in the kitchen, mom will tell whoever else is visiting – be it by phone or in person - “I like to give them something to do.”
The PSWs ask how her pain is and she says, “Oh boy, it’s there alright.” They ask if she is taking her pain medication and she says, “I stopped taking that stuff. It made me feel dopey and nauseous. Pain I can handle. Feeling woozy and throwing up, not so much.”
The caregivers can’t believe it. They then turn to me, thinking I must be also be a strong-willed adventurous type. Only to learn that my hubs and I have already moved into Seniors’ Housing where we don’t have to do so much as change a lightbulb, let alone manage a home and yard. Heck, I rarely drive and don’t even like driving. If they were to ask further they’d find out I’m likely on more meds than my mom and I’m a big wimp when it comes to pain.
*****
In the areas where we are similar, GM has me beat hands down. And I love it – if you’re going to be bested, let it be by an almost centenarian.
I am so pleased that I can now swim 20 laps. But my mom used to swim across the Bay of Quinte. Her nickname was Marilyn Bell.
I’m thrilled that I can do group exercise in my 60s. My mom, on the other hand, went to group exercise classes in her 80s – and WALKED there and back.
Laur and I had to build up for months to ride the Niagara triangle (St. Catharines – Port Colborne – Niagara Falls – St Catharines.) Yet my mom in her younger days and her friend “Skinny Lewis” rode the Belleville – Picton – Trenton – Belleville triangle just for something to do. 117 km! (Skinny was not even skinny – at least not at the beginning of the ride.)
*****
But in most areas, we are in fact quite dissimilar. My mom will not go out if her hair isn’t “just so.” Me, I always look like a Dr. Seuss character. (My fault – not my poor stylist’s.) My mom loves to shop for “just right” clothing and likes to stay in style. Me, if it almost fits, I’ll buy it and wear it for years. Mom had many boyfriends in her youth, and actually turned down proposals of marriage. I had only one serious boyfriend and I proposed to him.
My mom would take Laur’s and my kids for much of the summer and thoroughly enjoyed herself. It takes two of us to watch our granddaughter Emma for half a day. And even then, we are bagged. Happily bagged, but definitely out of practice.
Am I jealous?! Heck no! I’m happy and grateful. And hopeful too. Right now Granny Marj pretty much runs a free Bed and Breakfast – she gets so much company. I figure if Laur and I play our cards right, when we age out of our Seniors’ Housing, we can just shuffle over to Granny Marj’s Home for the Invalid and Lunatic. US, not her!