Changwon Barbarians! - October 19, 2019
New Sunshine Story! Changwon Barbarians!
I don’t have a longer funny story about our current adventures in Changwon, but there are a few comical moments to share – about getting here and visiting here. These snippets have been pulled from my daily updates so if you are getting a sense of déjà vu, it’s because you “have already seen”… 😊
1. Getting the heck out of St. Catharines. (Not as easy as you might think.)
We started our Monday with the realization – an hour before our Airporter was arriving – that my suitcase was too large and heavy to pass the Korean Airline standard. This would have meant an extra charge of $200 to $300. My Scot husband insisted I remove the (seem-to-be-breeding) boxes of Girl Guide cookies. (Sob!) This brought my suitcase to just under 50 pounds and – when he sat on it – an acceptable width. (Perhaps not such a bad thing that I removed the cookie gifts.)
Half an hour before our Airporter was due to pick us up – and Laur and I were just starting our second coffee – he looked out our window and said, “The Airporter’s at the front door!” (We live in an apartment building.) We practically bolted down the hall, only to find out that what he had seen was lights reflecting off the overhang. Ah well. We parked ourselves in the lobby and waited… and waited…
Eventually our Airporter driver arrived and she was not having a good day. Someone called in sick and she sure let us know she wasn’t happy about it. We were the second of four pickups. After she picked up her third person, she asked us passengers if we had any idea where “123 XYZ Street” was – cuz she sure didn’t! Not hearing any helpful suggestions, she said she’d have to trust her GPS and off we roared.
We sped down XYZ street – two driveways forward – one driveway back. All in the same lane. Gah! A police car flashed his lights at us. Double gah! I was sure our driver was going to be served a ticket. But no, the officer had our fourth pickup. Apparently we zoomed right by him and the guy jumped out into the middle of the street, trying to get her attention. It didn’t work.
Thankfully this police car happened to be driving by, picked up the lad, and flashed down our bus. I can’t say the rest of the drive was any calmer, but we got to the Pearson Airport in one piece. Good preparation for riding in taxis and buses in South Korea. I would not be the first person to describe the drivers as Kamikaze. And kudos to our Airporter gal for stepping in on a Thanksgiving holiday!
2. In the air.
Everyone raves about Korean Air compared to Air Canada. And I have to say, there is more leg room on an international Korean Air flight. And those flight attendants could be runway models – plus they are super attentive. But I also like Air Canada too. Basically, just keep feeding me and give me enough movies so that I can pretend I’m not trapped in a metal container with 300 people that is hurtling across the sky at 500 mph at 35 thousand feet. The story I tell myself is that I’m at a Cinefest with nonstop food and tight seating. 😊
When you travel, if you order vegan, you get served first. And this is pretty neat. But Koreans are truly not into vegan food so it’s not tasty and plentiful. A few cooked veggies, some pasta, a bun, a tiny salad, and a miniature fruit cup. And by the time we are finished, the other passengers are just getting their food. Not only am I already for my next meal, I can’t help but notice that the food they are getting is amazing in both size and smell! Bibimbap and all kinds of Korean delights. Sigh!
A few hours later, it was snack time. Laur and I were brought a banana. Vegans, right? And then everyone else was brought sandwiches. I was practically chewing my knuckles I was so hungry. So I asked our attendant if we could possibly have a sandwich and she said, “Of course.” I asked what the sandwiches were. Ham and cheese. Triple gah! I’d just seen a movie where the family slaughtered and ate the family pig who was more like the family dog. The farmhand for whom the pig was a dear friend was made to eat some of the animal and promptly vomited. Think of trying to eat Rover or Fluffy.
Then our model server offered, “We do have cheese and PAPRIKA!” Hmmm. OK, we’re only 95% vegan when we travel. I don’t like being a pain in the abs. I said, “We’ll take two!” And she brought us our sandwiches – cheese and PEPPERONI! I was halfway between laughing out loud and upchucking. I discreetly removed the meat. Laur at this point would have eat “Babe the Gallant Pig” herself…
3. At the Love Motel.
When Laur and I visit S. Korea, we stay in what is called a “love motel.” What in the world is that and why would seniors stay there? OK, so many newlywed Korean couples live with their parents while they are putting together enough money for a down payment on an apartment rental. (A story in itself.)
Korean housing is small and “close” so if you want to have a relaxed romantic time without your parents a few feet away, you rent a love motel. It’s a very basic room and it’s very inexpensive. It is NOT a brothel. Increasingly these are being rented by tourists and business folks. Why pay $200 a night for a luxurious room when you can spend $50 for a small motel room that comes with everything a luxury motel would provide.
Laur and I actually rent TWO rooms and this time we are across the hall from each other. Why? A) these rooms are small. Just ask my daughter Anna. And B) I don’t sleep well. And C) neither of us share space well. This way we don’t drive each other crazy for two weeks. In fact, absence can make the heart grow fonder. OK, maybe not that fond. Laurence my proof-reader, don’t be getting any wild ideas. [Ed. Too late! 😉]
But you can imagine the look on the faces of the folks who run the motel. Two seniors renting a love motel room for two weeks (vs a few hours or one overnight) and renting TWO of them? When we were in Seoul, the lad at the front desk asked my son in Korean, “Aren’t they married?!”
But if you think they feel surprised, you can imagine the look on the faces of young couples coming here for some romance and having to ride in the elevator with us. And then having the room beside us. Elaine was visiting us at Laur’s room and I said, “I hear some strange noises…” Elaine looks at me: “Mom, you do know that this is a LOVE motel.” Oh! (Blush!)
4. Kimchi queen.
Daughter Elaine loves to go out for supper with us because she misses us – and we miss her – and because we pay. Elaine does not appreciate my dining habits. As a long term foreigner in Korea, she does her best to have impeccable Korean table manners. As a short term foreigner in Korea, I do not know what I do not know. My kids tell me that if I don’t really care, I’ll look like a “barbarian.” (Actually, this wasn’t the word she used but I don’t want to offend my friends south of the border.)
Anyhoo, we got to our favourite Mom and Pop eatery and Elaine ordered us some bibimbap – my favorite. It was “serve yourself” kimchi and pickled radish. I started out for the table where you get this and Elaine said to me, “Mom, the kimchi and pickled radish are condiments not salads! Don’t stack your bowl!” Oops! Laur said, “I thought the kimchi and radish are all you can eat.” Elaine replied, “Yes, but you’re not supposed to.”
The dumplings arrived and I picked one up with my chopsticks. Elaine said, “Mom, you’re not supposed to spear your food!” To which I replied, because I was very hungry and just wanted to fill my belly, “I don’t really care. They know I’m a foreigner.” Elaine sighed, “Mom, I have to live here. I don’t want to be known as the ‘daughter of the mother who eats like a barbarian.’ And didn’t you used to stress the importance of having good manners?!” Oh! Oops!
*****
But I confess, it’s hard not to feel like a monstrosity here in S. Korea. SK-ers – men and women – dress very smartly. Blue jeans are rare; men don’t wear shorts. Their hair is styled; their hands are manicured. Even young men wear makeup to enhance their features. And they are mostly very trim.
Laur and I are not considered “big” people in Canada, but here in South Korea we feel like Godzilla and King Kong as we pound our way down the pavement. And I expect with our atomic breath and hairy bodies, that’s what we put them in mind of.
I don’t have a longer funny story about our current adventures in Changwon, but there are a few comical moments to share – about getting here and visiting here. These snippets have been pulled from my daily updates so if you are getting a sense of déjà vu, it’s because you “have already seen”… 😊
1. Getting the heck out of St. Catharines. (Not as easy as you might think.)
We started our Monday with the realization – an hour before our Airporter was arriving – that my suitcase was too large and heavy to pass the Korean Airline standard. This would have meant an extra charge of $200 to $300. My Scot husband insisted I remove the (seem-to-be-breeding) boxes of Girl Guide cookies. (Sob!) This brought my suitcase to just under 50 pounds and – when he sat on it – an acceptable width. (Perhaps not such a bad thing that I removed the cookie gifts.)
Half an hour before our Airporter was due to pick us up – and Laur and I were just starting our second coffee – he looked out our window and said, “The Airporter’s at the front door!” (We live in an apartment building.) We practically bolted down the hall, only to find out that what he had seen was lights reflecting off the overhang. Ah well. We parked ourselves in the lobby and waited… and waited…
Eventually our Airporter driver arrived and she was not having a good day. Someone called in sick and she sure let us know she wasn’t happy about it. We were the second of four pickups. After she picked up her third person, she asked us passengers if we had any idea where “123 XYZ Street” was – cuz she sure didn’t! Not hearing any helpful suggestions, she said she’d have to trust her GPS and off we roared.
We sped down XYZ street – two driveways forward – one driveway back. All in the same lane. Gah! A police car flashed his lights at us. Double gah! I was sure our driver was going to be served a ticket. But no, the officer had our fourth pickup. Apparently we zoomed right by him and the guy jumped out into the middle of the street, trying to get her attention. It didn’t work.
Thankfully this police car happened to be driving by, picked up the lad, and flashed down our bus. I can’t say the rest of the drive was any calmer, but we got to the Pearson Airport in one piece. Good preparation for riding in taxis and buses in South Korea. I would not be the first person to describe the drivers as Kamikaze. And kudos to our Airporter gal for stepping in on a Thanksgiving holiday!
2. In the air.
Everyone raves about Korean Air compared to Air Canada. And I have to say, there is more leg room on an international Korean Air flight. And those flight attendants could be runway models – plus they are super attentive. But I also like Air Canada too. Basically, just keep feeding me and give me enough movies so that I can pretend I’m not trapped in a metal container with 300 people that is hurtling across the sky at 500 mph at 35 thousand feet. The story I tell myself is that I’m at a Cinefest with nonstop food and tight seating. 😊
When you travel, if you order vegan, you get served first. And this is pretty neat. But Koreans are truly not into vegan food so it’s not tasty and plentiful. A few cooked veggies, some pasta, a bun, a tiny salad, and a miniature fruit cup. And by the time we are finished, the other passengers are just getting their food. Not only am I already for my next meal, I can’t help but notice that the food they are getting is amazing in both size and smell! Bibimbap and all kinds of Korean delights. Sigh!
A few hours later, it was snack time. Laur and I were brought a banana. Vegans, right? And then everyone else was brought sandwiches. I was practically chewing my knuckles I was so hungry. So I asked our attendant if we could possibly have a sandwich and she said, “Of course.” I asked what the sandwiches were. Ham and cheese. Triple gah! I’d just seen a movie where the family slaughtered and ate the family pig who was more like the family dog. The farmhand for whom the pig was a dear friend was made to eat some of the animal and promptly vomited. Think of trying to eat Rover or Fluffy.
Then our model server offered, “We do have cheese and PAPRIKA!” Hmmm. OK, we’re only 95% vegan when we travel. I don’t like being a pain in the abs. I said, “We’ll take two!” And she brought us our sandwiches – cheese and PEPPERONI! I was halfway between laughing out loud and upchucking. I discreetly removed the meat. Laur at this point would have eat “Babe the Gallant Pig” herself…
3. At the Love Motel.
When Laur and I visit S. Korea, we stay in what is called a “love motel.” What in the world is that and why would seniors stay there? OK, so many newlywed Korean couples live with their parents while they are putting together enough money for a down payment on an apartment rental. (A story in itself.)
Korean housing is small and “close” so if you want to have a relaxed romantic time without your parents a few feet away, you rent a love motel. It’s a very basic room and it’s very inexpensive. It is NOT a brothel. Increasingly these are being rented by tourists and business folks. Why pay $200 a night for a luxurious room when you can spend $50 for a small motel room that comes with everything a luxury motel would provide.
Laur and I actually rent TWO rooms and this time we are across the hall from each other. Why? A) these rooms are small. Just ask my daughter Anna. And B) I don’t sleep well. And C) neither of us share space well. This way we don’t drive each other crazy for two weeks. In fact, absence can make the heart grow fonder. OK, maybe not that fond. Laurence my proof-reader, don’t be getting any wild ideas. [Ed. Too late! 😉]
But you can imagine the look on the faces of the folks who run the motel. Two seniors renting a love motel room for two weeks (vs a few hours or one overnight) and renting TWO of them? When we were in Seoul, the lad at the front desk asked my son in Korean, “Aren’t they married?!”
But if you think they feel surprised, you can imagine the look on the faces of young couples coming here for some romance and having to ride in the elevator with us. And then having the room beside us. Elaine was visiting us at Laur’s room and I said, “I hear some strange noises…” Elaine looks at me: “Mom, you do know that this is a LOVE motel.” Oh! (Blush!)
4. Kimchi queen.
Daughter Elaine loves to go out for supper with us because she misses us – and we miss her – and because we pay. Elaine does not appreciate my dining habits. As a long term foreigner in Korea, she does her best to have impeccable Korean table manners. As a short term foreigner in Korea, I do not know what I do not know. My kids tell me that if I don’t really care, I’ll look like a “barbarian.” (Actually, this wasn’t the word she used but I don’t want to offend my friends south of the border.)
Anyhoo, we got to our favourite Mom and Pop eatery and Elaine ordered us some bibimbap – my favorite. It was “serve yourself” kimchi and pickled radish. I started out for the table where you get this and Elaine said to me, “Mom, the kimchi and pickled radish are condiments not salads! Don’t stack your bowl!” Oops! Laur said, “I thought the kimchi and radish are all you can eat.” Elaine replied, “Yes, but you’re not supposed to.”
The dumplings arrived and I picked one up with my chopsticks. Elaine said, “Mom, you’re not supposed to spear your food!” To which I replied, because I was very hungry and just wanted to fill my belly, “I don’t really care. They know I’m a foreigner.” Elaine sighed, “Mom, I have to live here. I don’t want to be known as the ‘daughter of the mother who eats like a barbarian.’ And didn’t you used to stress the importance of having good manners?!” Oh! Oops!
*****
But I confess, it’s hard not to feel like a monstrosity here in S. Korea. SK-ers – men and women – dress very smartly. Blue jeans are rare; men don’t wear shorts. Their hair is styled; their hands are manicured. Even young men wear makeup to enhance their features. And they are mostly very trim.
Laur and I are not considered “big” people in Canada, but here in South Korea we feel like Godzilla and King Kong as we pound our way down the pavement. And I expect with our atomic breath and hairy bodies, that’s what we put them in mind of.